Tag Archives: 4

Eastbound 4, 10:45 PM

A twentysomething woman and her kindergarten-age daughter follow a twentysomething man onto the bus. They sit in the forward-facing seats across from his, daughter near the window, mother near the aisle, facing the object of her pursuit.

Twentysomething woman, speaking loudly enough for everyone on the bus to hear: “I just don’t understand it. Guys are always trying to talk to me. Pretty much everyone wants to be with me, and I turn them down just to see the looks on their faces. Now I’m giving you the opportunity, and you don’t want it.”

The twentysomething man sits silently, looking somewhat embarrassed. The woman continues.

TSW: “I told my cousin you turned me down, and she was like, ‘Now that’s a first.’ For real, though, all kinds of dudes want to be with me. Basketball players have tried to holler, rappers try to get at me…”

She continues in this vein for several more minutes, until the man mumbles something unintelligible.

TSW: “What? Why can’t you tell me?” She gestures toward her daughter, who has witnessed the entire scene. “Is it her?”

Eastbound 4, 10:40 PM

A young woman, to a male friend: “I got two new diagnoses, on top of the three I already have: OCD and agoraphobia.”

Male friend: “Really? But you seem so normal.”

Young woman: “That’s the problem; most crazies do.”

Eastbound 4, 3:45 PM (or, “We do more before 9 AM…”)

Back of the bus: A group of teenage boys is antagonizing a fortysomething man dressed in work clothes and boots.

Boys’ ringleader: “Man, I make more in an hour than you probably make in a whole day.”

Fortysomething man: “I make 54 bucks an hour.”

BR: “Seriously? What do you do?”

FM: “Electrician. Journeyman.”

Random boy: “You work every day?”

FM: “Seven days a week.”

BR, calculating: “Dang–you’re pulling in some serious cheese.”

The bus reaches fortysomething man’s stop, and he gets off.

BR, to his friends: “I’d stop hustling for a job that paid like that.”

Speaking of passionate sports arguments…

Westbound 4, noon-ish:

A Seahawk hater and a Seahawk fan are arguing about the team’s chances against Chicago. The hater, who believes the Seahawks cheated their way to victory last Saturday (according to him, Romo’s bobble was the result of special teams players greasing the ball), claims they will lose badly. The fan is convinced of victory. In fact, he is so sure that the Hawks will make it all the way to Miami that he plans to wear “Crip blue” in their honor for the entire playoffs.

Says the Seahawk hater: “I guess you’ll be wearing it until Sunday, then, ’cause that’s the day those Seaturkeys are going down.”

Eastbound 4, 8-ish

A man and a woman who apparently know each other meet in the aisle on the way to their seats.

Woman: “Hey, stranger! You make it through OK?”
Man: “I just got back in town. I couldn’t take it.”
Woman: “Well, you better turn right back around. We’re about to get another d*mn storm. And I just got my lights back on!”

As they continue to talk windstorms and lost power, the man in front of me sits on a tube of toothpaste. He tries to clean it, then gives up and moves.

Picture
The seat, post toothpaste accident (note the tube in the crack between the seat and the wall)

Later, at Jefferson and 14th, a very drunk (the kind of drunk you can smell coming) man gets on, muttering to himself in a thick accent.

“I’m going to a celebration of my people, in Africa, where it doesn’t rain. Not like here. Here it rains every f-ing day.”

Through all of this, Smooth Jazz is at the wheel. Smooth Jazz makes everything aaalllll riiiight.