Devil on the 2 bus

Today, after church, I hopped on the 2 and took a free, Earth Day ride downtown to meet my friend Aileen. Because it was early afternoon on a Sunday, many of my fellow riders–identifiable by their Bibles, fancy outfits, and “What did you think of Pastor So-and-so’s sermon?” conversations–were also coming from church.

One older gentleman sitting in the front section, who apparently wasn’t finished with his worship, decided to bring church to the bus. (He’s certainly not the first.) He sang songs, lectured everyone within earshot about Jesus (“Be thankful he woke you up this mornin’!”), and occasionally, demanded an “amen” from someone nearby. Some of the churchgoers joined in; most of the passengers did their best to ignore him.

I didn’t hear the bus driver ask Church Man to keep his singing and preaching to himself, but he must have, because about five minutes into the ride, Church Man started peppering his praise with, “I just can’t stop–can’t stop talking about Jesus.” Somewhere around Broadway, the driver stopped the bus and walked to Church Man’s seat, hands on hips, brow furrowed in exasperation. Without waiting to be asked, Church Man got up to leave. “You kicking me off?” he said. “That’s OK. They kicked Jesus off.”

Before the doors had even closed behind the enthusiastic worshipper, the outrage from the other passengers began.

“It’s none of my business driver, but why did you just kick that man off the bus?”
“Ooh! Did he just kick that man off the bus for singing about the Lord?”
“The devil’s on this bus.”
And, my favorite: “That’s the devil. I don’t give a sh*t what anybody says. That’s the devil.”

It was a ganging up I haven’t seen the likes of since about a year ago, when (also on the 2), the entire front section shamed a woman for talking on her cell phone. She was scheduling surgery. But I digress.

The frustrated driver didn’t handle the criticism well. He yelled back at the angry passengers, threatening to kick them off, too, and suggesting they refrain from critiquing his job performance. Their anger escalated.

“Just drive the bus, man,” they said. “Mind your business and drive the bus.”

A sarcastic “God bless you driver!” occasionally erupted from the crowd, often followed by a, “He’d better hope he doesn’t meet Jesus.”

Thankfully, I got off before they started pummeling him with their Bibles.