I saw this ad on the 545 during last night’s insane ride home:

In case you don’t have superhuman vision, here’s what it says:

Your fantastic new job gives you such joy you start walking to work every day and before you can say tiddlywinks you’ve started a car-free revolution and the toxin levels in Puget Sound plummet and the orcas are taken off the endangered species list because the salmon make a miraculous comeback and with the abundance of lean protein our offensive line bulks up 23 lbs per player the Seahawks win the Super Bowl and Seattle is given 3 billion dollars by an anonymous donor and while building an agreeable mass transit system secret documents are unearthed and we discover who killed JFK the Roswell aliens really landed in Fremont and the meaning of all life right here in the Northwest.

Too bad I’m not looking for a job.